The World According to Colin

As everyone is surely aware, my nephew Colin Phillips was born on Friday, July 2nd at East Georgia Regional Medical Center in Statesboro. He was 7 lbs 4 oz (his due date was 7/4), his chest and head were 13 inches, and he was born at 1313. Thirteen has always been my lucky number, incidentally.

It is hard to articulate how monumental his birth is without being one of those people who shove photos of their children or children they love in everyone's faces while they nod politely and try to shuffle away. But the fact remains that he is an absolutely beautiful child that we can't get enough of. Looking at him, I mostly see his father, but I see hints of my mother and me as well. I'll never have children of my own (and I'm ok with that), so I imagine Colin (and any potential future siblings) will be the closest thing I have. He shares my blood. He's the grandson of my parents, the great-grandson of my grandparents, who I wish were around to see him. I try to envision what he may look like, or what kind of personality he will have. I wonder what his life will be like, who his friends will be, if he'll be gay like his uncle and great uncle (I don't worry about it because his parents would be supportive, thank God, and by that time it shouldn't be an issue anyway).

I don't worry about any of that, truthfully, because I know this: Krisha and Timmy will be wonderful parents. I can't speak for Timmy, but Krisha and I had many difficult times during our childhood, and we were exposed to things that we never should have been. That's not an indictment of our parents; they did the best they could do at the time. But it was what it was. And to Colin's great fortune, Krisha learned from our parents mistakes. He will never endure the things we did because Krisha will never, ever allow it. I also know that Colin will be surrounded by love - he has parents who he can always talk to about anything. His uncle and grandparents will be only a phone call/email away. He won't be spoiled, though - neither Krisha nor I tolerate that. We got that from our parents.

So, I think about Colin, and miss him terribly. I'm also overwhelmed by the desire to protect him - you know, that whole I'll-take-a-bullet-or-jump-in-front-of-a-train feeling. I know he isn't my child, but I already love him as though he is. He's my flesh and blood, at any rate.

Colin, I hope you get to read this one day. If you are, hopefully I'm still around to tell you these things in person. But, I'll tell you this - welcome to the world, little buddy. It can be a pretty great place, but it got better six days ago. Know that your parents adore you, and I love you more than I can articulate here. I'm always here for you.